Death, Abuse, Horrific Life Experiences… Why??

I just read a blog – from one of my favorite bloggers.  Her cry is that “everything does NOT happen for a reason.”  I have personally held onto the belief that reasons are not for me to determine.

I have no idea why sheer awfulness happens.  If I did, or if I attempted to wonder, I’d go crazy – or at least more crazy than I already am.  The pain is unbearable enough, and the response to it just as unbearable – if not more so.  Thus, my determination to “make the best of it” is to always look for the positive.  I continually ask myself ‘What can I do to use the sheer horridness, horrifically terrifying and awfulness of experiences unfathomably painful to be turned into some sort of positivity?’.

My method of coping with sheer terror and pain has been to use the experiences to be able to relate to the experiences and feelings of others.  I have also been determined to use the experiences to prevent pain and suffering of others.  This aids in my ability to cope, to persevere, to overcome.  It helps me put one foot in front of the other.  Life is not meant to be experienced in isolation.  Hence my Facebook entries and this blog.

If I can make a difference in the life of one other person because of all the horrific, unfathomably painful, crazy-making experiences with incredibly devastating – yet incredibly positive – results, it is all worth it.  And, I have.  I have been able to aid towards empowerment for an individual to escape domestic violence while I was trying to escape mayhem myself.  I’ve been able to bring relationships together that would’ve otherwise dissolved or become violent.  I’ve been able to prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome.  I’ve been able to make a positive difference in many, many lives.  I say this not because of pride, but because it is a significant dream come true.  It is the purpose of my life.

Thus, the reason for personally experiencing horrific experiences – including observing horrific deaths and the result of unresolved grief due to loss – has been for me to be able to make a positive difference in the lives of others.  Why has it happened to the person who has experienced death, pain, suffering, and more?  I don’t know.  I might know and I might not.  What matters to me is what I do with it.  Do I let it break me?  Do I let it create the mayhem it is meant to create?  Or, do I let it empower me to be stronger and to help others to be strong and/or escape the experiences that will cause incredible, possibly devestating pain that they might not be able to be overcome?  This goal is what I’ve used to cope with incredible pain, loss, abuse, horrific life experiences, and more.

Is there a reason?  Sometimes there is – such as the cause-and-effect of abuse, labels, bullying, man-made environmental factors…  These are reasons that we MUST wake up to in the effort to prevent others from experiencing these and for yet more people to die as the result.  The reason is that we did it to them.  They did not ask for it.  Why them?  I don’t know.

Most-times I don’t know why there is pain, suffering, and death.  I may never know.  However, for me, my resolve is to use the experiences that seems to have no reason in a way that I can help others.

In my own way, my personal life experiences (that include experiencing and watching pain, suffering, and death), “all things work together for good” by how I apply these experiences.  Thus, the reason for non-reason is for me to reverse the negative.  To change the negative into positive.  “The sun is always shining – even behind the clouds.”


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