The song that is playing on the radio right now is: “Let me tell you a secret about a father’s love…Daddy’s don’t love their children just now and then, it’s a love without end, Amen.”
When I was young, I believed that I was loved by my dad. Then my mom died and I realized that I was wrong. Completely wrong. Then I had snippets of hope from time to time.
My dad cares to the best of his ability. However, he really has no idea as to what it means to love, to care, to be there for anyone but himself. It’s a white man’s, Christian, Evangelical/conservative religious syndrome all mixed in with a heavy dose of narcissism.
I am in recovery mode from a heavy onslaught of PTSD symptoms.
The event(s) associated with the induction of trauma sucks, but the aftermath of trauma is much more devastating. The cyclical nature of trauma, re-surfaced trauma, and cyclical symptoms is frustratingly angering. The lack of knowledge with regards to trauma, the people affected by trauma, and situations associated with the aftermath of trauma is fascinating, horrifying, and explains a ton as to what we are doing wrong as a society.
The reactions of people surrounding the person affected by trauma is fascinating.
People who have no friends are in deep trouble. Deep trouble. People who don’t have the right solutions or people who can lead you to the right solutions are in deep trouble. People who don’t have someone who understands who they are, what they are capable of, what is happening, and more are in deep shit. Trauma victims who don’t have someone there to listen – truly listen – and respond in the way they truly need — not how the “listener” thinks they need — are in deep shit.
We as Americans often have no idea as to the life of another. We just plain don’t have time. We don’t listen, we don’t care. We judge. We are afraid. We see each other as “the other.” The first thought is to think that unfortunate situations are the fault of the person experiencing ridiculousness.
Trauma victims are fully aware of this and take it to the extreme. Thus, we don’t know who to turn to, who we can safely seek help from. We don’t know what to do or how to do it until it’s too late. In the meantime, we’re frantically trying to solve the problem blindly. We reach out frantically. Sometimes with success, but often in failure.
The frustrating thing is that Christians are the first people turn to for support in yet they are the last to be supportive. Organizations don’t have the resources to help or there are roadblocks where they are unable to help. Friends are the ones who are supportive. Your true friends.
What do you do if you have no one to turn to? Or, if you are afraid of the ones you can turn to? Or, if you feel that they, too, won’t understand? What happens if you don’t have enough people to turn to?
We live in a global society. We live within clicks. We surround ourselves with only a few sub-types of people. We are unaware of multiple facets of society because we just don’t know.
We don’t know because it’s overwhelming, it’s confusing, it’s scary, it’s uncomfortable, we don’t have time, we don’t want to, and more.
Please do me a favor. Please reach out each and every day to someone you know AND someone you don’t know and show them you care in a way that they know – without a doubt – you care. Not in a way that you think you showed them you care. But in a way that they know you care. Not in a way that makes you feel good, but in a way that makes them feel good.
Live Jesus. Live a Father’s love.
Please love and be loved.